Very Punny

San Francisco Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi recently proposed legislation that would put the city in charge of selling and distributing medical marijuana. The mayor's office issued the following statement:

"The mayor will have to hash this out with public health officials," press secretary Nathan Ballard said. "It's the mayor's job to weed out bad legislation. And to be blunt, this sounds pretty bad."

Borowitz on the Recession

Please tell me I will never take myself so seriously that I won't find stuff like this hilarious. Money quote:

"When I graduated from B-school in '98, you could write your own ticket," said Dirk Bendelson, a veteran asshole from Stamford, Connecticut. "It was a glorious time to be a mofo."

(thanks Leenie)

The War on Sanity

I could go on and on about the so-called "War on Drugs." It's left a trail of ruin in its wake, impacting US foreign policy, domestic incarceration rates and the federal deficit. Something that particularly irks me is how proponents of the "War on Drugs" demonize alternatives, warning that the country will go to hell in a hand basket if we shift toward decriminalization. Fortunately, other developed nations are forging ahead. The data coming out of Portugal are encouraging.

Ch-arrrgh-t of the Day

(thanks Turner)

Obamaism

"This is not the rigid mentality of an engineer of human souls; it’s the attitude of a community organizer."

Full article here.

(thanks Nick)

Right and Wrong Angles

When I was working for a certain, multi-billion dollar wealth management group, I sat in on more than a handful of client meetings aimed at pitching insurance annuities to rich folk. Many potential buyers asked (millionaires, generally speaking, are a pretty bright bunch), "what if the bank goes under?" Each time, my boss responded, "failure on that scale would not be tolerated. The federal government would have to step in. You'd never lose your money."

He was right.

Just Say No

Mike is on to something here.